Guest: *ring the operator* Operator: Good evening. Operator. Guest: Hello, can you bring me an adaptor, please? Operator: Certainly, Sir. I will arrange for it. Guest: Thank you, I'll wait for it.
~20 mins later~
Assistant manager: *knock knock knock* This is assistant manager, Sir. The doctor is with me here. Guest: *open the door and shout* WHAAAAAAAZ??!!
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.
"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!"
"In me pub in London," says the Englishman,"I pay fer two pint's o' Guiness and they give me a third one free!"
"That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free -- and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!"
"Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has that really happened to you?"
"Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!"
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."
A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up his room. five minutes later he calls the desk and say. "you've give me a room with no exit. how do i leave?" The desk clerk says. "Sir, that's absurd.have you looked for the door?" The person says," well,there's one door that leads to the bathroom There's a second door that goes into the closet. and there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?" The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you." "No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
http://www.evula.com/jokes/hospitality.html
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/17661/
http://www.livingincebuforums.com/ipb/topic/48957-english-hospitality/
http://www.best-funny-jokes.com/travel-and-tourist-jokes
ReplyDeletehttp://www.yuksrus.com/hotels.html
http://www.thejokeindex.com/funnyjokes/index.php?m=03&y=11&entry=entry110312-215815
ReplyDeletehttp://www.freejokes.ca/JokeTopic/Hospitality.html
http://www.jokebuddha.com/Hospitality/recent
http://www.dailycleanjokes.com/funny-travel-jokes/tourist-hotel/
ReplyDeletehttp://thedirty30sclub.com/blog/tag/funny-tourist-jokes/
http://www.restaurantlaughs.com/
Guest: *ring the operator*
ReplyDeleteOperator: Good evening. Operator.
Guest: Hello, can you bring me an adaptor, please?
Operator: Certainly, Sir. I will arrange for it.
Guest: Thank you, I'll wait for it.
~20 mins later~
Assistant manager: *knock knock knock* This is assistant manager, Sir. The doctor is with me here.
Guest: *open the door and shout* WHAAAAAAAZ??!!
(true story, lol)
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.
ReplyDelete"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!"
"In me pub in London," says the Englishman,"I pay fer two pint's o' Guiness and they give me a third one free!"
"That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free -- and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!"
"Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has that really happened to you?"
"Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!"
http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_holiday_notices.htm
ReplyDeleteRESTAURANT JOKES
ReplyDeleteThe headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."
http://www.workjoke.com/hoteliers-jokes.html
ReplyDeleteHotel Joke
ReplyDeleteA person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up his room. five minutes later he calls the desk and say. "you've give me a room with no exit. how do i leave?"
The desk clerk says. "Sir, that's absurd.have you looked for the door?"
The person says," well,there's one door that leads to the bathroom
There's a second door that goes into the closet. and there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy
ReplyDeleteasking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding
even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo
shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't
wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"